Awakening

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The Journey Back to Myself

For far too long, I’ve shrunk myself to fit into boxes that were never meant for me—boxes shaped by other people’s expectations, comfort zones, and opinions. I’ve silenced my voice to keep the peace, softened my edges to be more “acceptable,” and dimmed my light so others wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. But something in me has shifted. I’m no longer willing to live that way.

This awakening isn’t just about one area of my life. It touches everything. There comes a moment when you realize just how much of your life has been lived trying to appease others. And while I don’t believe in being unkind or thoughtless, I also believe there comes a time when we must stop abandoning ourselves to maintain harmony that doesn’t actually serve us or others.

Every time I said yes to something that dishonored me, I was saying no to myself. I was subtly and consistently telling myself that I don’t matter as much. That everyone else’s comfort, opinion, and validation came first.

But not anymore.

I’m not arrogant for setting a standard. I’m aligned. I’m not selfish for choosing myself. I’m whole.

This shift is not about dishonoring others—I’ll never stop honoring others, because love is the very essence of who I am. But now, I’m also learning to honor myself. I can hold love for others and still refuse to shrink. I can walk in kindness without walking all over my truth.

This season is asking for more of me—the real me. It’s not a season of shrinking. It’s a season of expansion. I’m being called to make room for the woman I’ve always been but was too afraid to let her rise.

And I’m learning that if a space, a relationship, a dynamic, or a system can’t hold room for that version of me—the one who knows her worth and refuses to negotiate it—then it’s simply not meant to come along. And that’s okay.

I’m choosing peace. I’m choosing truth. I’m choosing me.

This is my journey back to myself.

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From Striving to Flow: Finding Freedom in Being

Hey friends,

Today, I just want to share a bit of what’s been on my heart. Over the past week, I’ve been reflecting on why I’ve felt so weary—why the pouring out on social media for the month of February has left me feeling so low. And I think I’m starting to see it more clearly.

In February, I started posting my self-love journey on social media, which started out as being for myself—to dig deeper into loving the woman I’ve become. But somewhere along the way, my motives shifted. I found myself wanting to grow, to gain followers, to see the fruit of all that effort. When I didn’t, the weight of disappointment hit me hard. MY DOING produced NOTHING (which I’m glad that it didn’t because it taught me a lesson). And that’s when the fatigue set in—not just physical tiredness, but a soul-level exhaustion.

I listened to a podcast today by Aaron Abke and Kyle Cease titled Effort Doesn’t Work Anymore. As I listened, I felt something inside me exhale—like a reminder that all the striving, all the doing, isn’t where life comes from.

It’s Presence.

Not presence in the sense of simply being in a room, but Presence with a capital P—the kind where you’re rooted and grounded in Love, fully aware of your connection to something bigger and greater than yourself. When I was in that state of being, words flowed effortlessly, reflections poured out, and everything felt alive. It wasn’t forced or scripted—it was simply the overflow of being in tune with Love, with Spirit.

But somewhere along the way, I slipped back into old patterns—striving, doing, trying to make things happen in my own strength. And that’s where the frustration was coming from. Because my soul was never meant to strive. Neither was yours.

That deep fatigue, the frustration you might feel at times—that could be your soul’s way of saying, This isn’t where you’re meant to live. It could be Love inviting you to return to the flow, to Presence, to being.

I wrote this in my journal today:

“Have you ever felt as if you were created for MORE? That deep knowing and burning inside that there must be more to where I am currently—more to who I am than my current truth or understanding? I believe that is my higher self trying to get my attention—to get me to notice, dig deeper, or awaken to the truth of who Love created me to be.”

Maybe that’s what’s been pulling at you too—the longing to live from being instead of doing, from flow instead of striving. And maybe that’s why the old ways of doing aren’t working anymore.

So, here’s to returning to Presence. To living from being. To letting Love lead.

If you’ve been feeling that pull too—let’s walk this out together. You’re not alone. ♡

—LaShawn

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Peace & Love Intertwined

I remember when quiet time in the morning felt like an obligation—like something I had to do to prove my devotion. It carried pressure, expectation, and duty. “Give God your first,” they said. And while I understood the intent, it often felt forced, like a demand rather than an invitation.

But now? Now, when I wake and settle into meditation, reflection, and gratitude, I do it not because I must, but because I get to. I do it because it feels like loving myself well. Because in stillness, I am met with Love. In quiet, I am held by Peace. In presence, I am reminded of the depth of who I am and who Love is within me.

It no longer feels like a struggle, a box to check, or a sacrifice to prove my faithfulness. It is a rhythm of grace, a space where Love meets me, where I get to simply be—with Love, in Love, and as Love.

And isn’t that the truth of it? Love is never demanding. Love is never transactional. Love simply is.

I used to think that God needed my time in a certain way, at a certain hour, with a certain posture. But the truth is, Love has never been about performance. Love is always about presence. And when I sit in the quiet, I realize that all of it—meditation, reflection, gratitude, peace—is already rooted in Love. Even in the busyness of life—work, cooking, traffic, dinners, and outings, whether alone or surrounded by family and friends—Love is always here, steady and present.

I don’t have to strive to be in Love’s presence. I already am.

And in this, I remember—Jesus, the Prince of Peace, left us His peace. A peace that flows, not as the world gives, but as Love freely offers. A peace that is steady, unwavering, and whole. A peace that is not earned but received.

I remember the moment I felt Love—really felt it. Back in 2016, when I asked Papa (God) to experience His love, and it came crashing over me in waves. By the third day, I thought my heart would burst. And Love whispered, “This doesn’t even touch the surface of how much I love you.”

That Love has marked me. That Love has changed me. That Love is within me.

And that is the Love I long to pour out into the world—to my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my family, my friends, the strangers I meet along the way. I want the essence of my life to scream LOVE. Because there is so much pain in this world, and people need to know—really know—how deeply, how endlessly, how wholly they are loved.

And so, I begin my day in Love. Not because I have to. But because Love is who I am. And more than anything, Love is the legacy I want to leave behind.

1. How has your perspective on spending time with Love (God) shifted over the years? Do you approach it as an obligation or an invitation?

2. In what ways can you cultivate more presence in your daily life, recognizing that Love is always with you?

3. What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?

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Encountering Love: Unique, Personal, Without Agenda

As a parent, I’ve come to understand that my love for each of my children is unique. I don’t love one more than another; rather, I love each according to who they were created to be. This insight led me to a deeper reflection: If my love for my children is unique, how much more personal and intentional is Love’s relationship with us?

Yet, we often assume Love must interact with everyone in the same way. But the truth is, Love meets us where we are, speaking in a language designed for our hearts to understand. Ten people can encounter Love and walk away with ten beautifully different experiences, each shaped by who they are. And yet, we sometimes struggle when someone’s experience doesn’t mirror our own. What seems unusual to one person may be Love’s intimate way of speaking to another.

We try to fit Love into our logic, our rules, and our understanding. But the One who spoke light into the void, who shaped the vast universe with a word, cannot be confined to human limitations. Love moves beyond our perceptions, beyond the walls of our experiences and traditions. Love transcends every bias and boundary we’ve built.

Our role is not to preach or convert—it is simply to love. To love without an agenda. To love without the need to control an outcome. But truly loving others requires us to release hidden motives. Too often, we feel an unspoken pressure to “save” people, to pull them into alignment with our beliefs, or to measure whether our love is making an impact. Yet, Love never operates from obligation. Love simply is. Love meets people right where they are, in ways that only Love can.

And when we live in Light & Love, our lives speak louder than words. Authentic love doesn’t need to convince—it simply shines, and in that radiance, hearts are stirred. When we share from a pure and open heart, Light & Love resonate deeply, awakening something within others. It’s not about persuasion; it’s about reflection. When people witness genuine love, they begin to crave that same depth, that same freedom. Authenticity calls forth authenticity, and those who encounter it often feel drawn to explore their own journey with new intention.

When Jesus said, “They will know you by your love,” He was calling us into a love that gives life, restores identity, and reveals truth. The world is weary of words that divide, of messages that diminish worth, of voices that impose false identities. But Love speaks in a way that reminds us who we are—made in Love’s image, reflections of Love itself. There isn’t one human soul that doesn’t carry this essence.

May we release our judgments and open our hearts. May we stop projecting our understanding onto others and trust that Love will reveal itself in ways only Love can. And as we lean into this truth, may we become aware that we are a reflection of Love.

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Trusting the Voice Within: A Journey, Not a Test

There’s something deeply beautiful in the way Love invites us into decisions—not as a single destination to “get right,” but as a journey to share together. Recently, as I walked alongside a friend processing a decision, I felt Love’s heart gently inviting her, not just to make the “right” choice, but to find peace, to step into a journey—an adventure of trust and closeness with Love.

I realized that often, our focus becomes the decision itself: the outcome, the path, the “rightness” of it all. We’re raised in a world—sometimes in communities of faith, too—where it feels like there’s one correct step, one “right” path, and that any misstep could set us back. Yet, Love isn’t placing that weight on our shoulders. Love is inviting us into relationship, into process, into an ongoing conversation that brings peace, not pressure.

This is the beauty of being in intimate communion with Love: walking in the quiet stillness before the noise of the day, in a space that feels sacred and untainted. It’s in this stillness that Love speaks—not with a demand for answers, but with a gentle whisper, saying, “Let’s walk through this together.”

When we rely on external validation or rush to gather everyone’s opinions, it’s like inviting too many voices into a conversation meant for just the two of us. No one can be in that sacred place with us, in that one-on-one connection with Love. Only Love knows the fullness of what we’re experiencing and how to lead us. And while Love may send confirmations through others, that doesn’t mean we need to depend on them to find our way. Those confirmations are reminders that, yes, we’re on the right path, but the journey itself—the trust, the intimacy—is the real gift.

Reflecting on my own life, I think back to when my husband and I were called to move out of Connecticut. The voices we expected to affirm us, those we respected and trusted, couldn’t see what Love had placed in our hearts. And that’s okay. We weren’t meant to depend on them for permission or validation; we were meant to trust the voice of Love within us. When we stop waiting on human confirmation and instead lean into the stillness and knowing Love has placed inside us, we find a peace that doesn’t require external support.

In those moments of stillness, when I close my eyes, I feel the beauty of Love’s heart—a space created just for me to rest in. I rest in the truth that Love has always known me, created me, and walks with me. As I listen, a path unfolds within—clear, peaceful, and steady. There’s no rush, no fear of missteps, only the gentle leading of Love.

This relationship isn’t about ticking boxes or fearing a wrong step. It’s about walking with Love as Adam did in the garden, walking in the cool of the morning before the noise, before the day gets busy. In that sacred space, there’s a peace that surpasses understanding—an invitation to walk hand in hand with Love, a dance of trust, and an unfolding path of beauty and freedom.

Reflection Questions:

1. Where have you invited too many voices into a decision that Love may be asking you to navigate together—just the two of you?

2. Can you find a moment today to “walk” with Love and listen for the still, small whisper within?

3. What would it look like to trust the guidance Love has placed within you, even if the confirmation comes from unexpected places?

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Answering Love’s Call

There’s a moment in life—perhaps you’ve experienced it—when something deep within you stirs. It’s a quiet whisper, yet somehow it feels like a roar, calling you to more. More than what you’ve known. More than what’s comfortable. More than what fits neatly into the expectations others have placed on you.

For me, this call came as an invitation to live free. Not just free from external constraints but free from the internal ones: fear, comparison, and the weight of other people’s opinions. It’s an invitation I continue to answer daily, one step at a time.

What does it mean to live life free?

Living life free doesn’t mean we have it all figured out. In fact, it’s often the opposite. It’s about embracing the unknown with curiosity and trust. It’s about unlearning the rules and beliefs that no longer serve us, the ones that keep us small, stuck, or striving for approval.

It’s a journey of unburdening—releasing fear, letting go of the need to control, and allowing Love to guide us. It’s about reconnecting with who we were created to be before life, circumstances, or expectations told us otherwise.

For me, living free has meant stepping away from the noise of opinions and leaning into the gentle truth that Love has always been whispering to my heart. It’s about discovering that freedom isn’t found in perfection or performance but in the beautiful act of being.

What’s Holding You Back?

If you’re anything like me, you may have spent years basing your decisions on what others might think. “What will they say if I do this? What will they think if I step into who I truly am?” These thoughts can keep us in a cycle of playing small, hiding our light, and living for others instead of for the life Love is calling us to.

But here’s the truth: People’s perceptions of you are none of your business. That’s right. None. Their thoughts, opinions, and judgments are reflections of their own experiences—not of who you truly are.

The life you’ve been given is yours and yours alone. It’s a gift. And when we live for the opinions of others, we miss out on the beauty, the joy, and the freedom of living the life we were designed to live.

The Call to Freedom

Answering the call to live free is about surrender. It’s about trusting that Love is leading us on a path that is divinely orchestrated, even when we can’t see the next step. It’s about walking forward, hand in hand with Love, and allowing the journey to unfold.

It doesn’t mean the path will be easy. Living free often requires courage to let go of what’s familiar and step into the unknown. It’s a process of unlearning, releasing, and remembering. And through it all, Love is there—patient, kind, and steady—guiding us into the fullness of who we were created to be.

Reflection Questions

As you ponder what it means to live life free, here are a few questions to sit with:

1. Have you ever felt a deep tug for more? What did that tug feel like for you?

2. What beliefs, rules, or expectations do you feel called to release?

3. In what ways do you feel Love is inviting you to live free?

Take your time with these questions. Journal your thoughts or bring them into your quiet time with Love. Let your responses flow freely, without restriction or judgment.

Invitation

Living life free isn’t about arriving at a destination; it’s about embracing the journey. It’s about releasing fear, letting Love lead, and stepping into the fullness of who you are.

If today’s reflection spoke to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can connect with me on Instagram @LaShawnDobbs.

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Embracing the Journey

Rediscovering Purpose, Freedom, and a Heartfelt Connection with Love

Have you ever had one of those drives where your thoughts begin to unravel like a thread, leading you to unexpected places? That’s exactly what happened to me one morning. As I drove to work, I found myself reflecting on the journey I’ve been on—rediscovering purpose, breaking free from old patterns, and reconnecting with Love in the most profound way.

This post is a collection of those thoughts and the moments of clarity that surfaced along the way. They’re reflections on purpose, freedom, compassion, and the beauty of an authentic relationship with God—with Love. My hope is that as you read, you’ll find pieces of your own journey mirrored here and feel inspired to pause, reflect, and embrace your connection with Love.

The Search for Purpose

For most of my life, I saw purpose as this big, elusive calling—one significant thing I was created to do. I spent so much time searching for it, feeling like fulfillment would finally come when I arrived at some grand destination or achieved a specific role.

But lately, I’ve come to understand that purpose isn’t about one specific task, person, or place. Purpose is woven into the very fabric of who I am. It’s who God created me to be before the beginning of time. Purpose flows from me simply being who I am, loving and encouraging others, wherever I am. This realization has been freeing and life-changing.

From Ritual to Relationship

It’s funny, but I used to believe I could only be connected to God through structured rituals and rigid routines. My days began at 4:30 or 5 a.m. with strict prayer schedules, seasons of fasting, and routines I felt I had to complete to feel worthy in God’s eyes. If I missed them, I would beat myself up, feeling like a failure.

I thought that if I didn’t follow these exact practices, I wasn’t doing enough to show my love for God. But as I processed and deconstructed these beliefs, I realized how much pressure I’d placed on myself. Those actions didn’t lead to a real relationship with God; they were simply rituals.

A New Freedom in Connection

Now, I see that God isn’t confined to the structure of early morning rituals or specific religious practices. He’s with me every day, in every moment. I’ve found freedom in praying whenever and wherever—while driving, working, or taking a walk.

This more natural, spontaneous connection has allowed me to experience an authentic, heartfelt relationship with God. No longer do I feel like I need to perform for God’s approval. Instead, I feel empowered, loved, and fully accepted as His daughter, knowing He is pleased with me just as I am.

The Patient Unfolding of Truth

This shift has been part of a larger journey—one that began years ago when I felt God telling me, “I’m going to reveal truth to you little by little.” He knew that if I’d seen all these changes at once, it would have been too overwhelming. So, He’s been guiding me patiently, allowing me to process each new layer of understanding in my own time.

Over time, I began to let go of beliefs rooted in fear—like the teachings about hell that once terrified me. I’ve realized that God’s love is unconditional, and He’s not looking for reasons to condemn me. Instead, He loves me with an everlasting love and walks with me in every season.

This deeper understanding of God’s love has changed not only how I see Him but also how I see others—and myself.

From Judgment to Compassion

Interestingly, this journey has reshaped how I view and interact with others. I used to be so judgmental, often because I judged myself so harshly. But now, I see people with a new compassion, understanding that everyone is on their own unique path.

I trust that God is walking with them just as He is with me. This shift has brought me a deeper love and acceptance for people, allowing me to embrace them as they are, without judgment or expectations. I’ve found that I love people more genuinely now than I ever did before.

There was a time when my focus was solely on getting people to pray a specific prayer to secure their place in heaven, with little regard for who they were as individuals. The relational aspect was missing entirely. Now, my posture is one of leaning in—just as Jesus leaned in, listened, loved, and revealed the Father to those around Him.

Releasing Labels and Embracing Identity

This journey has led me away from traditional labels, like “Christian,” but I don’t see it as abandoning my faith. Instead, I’m letting go of the constraints and expectations attached to that label.

In the garden, God walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day, simply enjoying their presence. They weren’t labeled Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, or anything else. They lived in daily communion with Love at the center—the way God designed it to be from the very beginning.

Jesus is not a Christian, and neither is God or the Holy Spirit. These labels are human constructs that can never fully capture the fullness of who they are. God’s essence transcends labels, existing beyond the boundaries of our definitions.

This realization has profoundly shifted my understanding of what it means to walk in relationship with God. It’s no longer about performance or titles—it’s about genuine friendship with my Creator, with Love.

Encouragement for the Journey

As I continue on this path, I realize there are others who might feel alone or confused in their journey, especially those deconstructing long-held beliefs. If that’s you, know that you’re not alone.

There is freedom and beauty in asking questions and seeking the truth of who God really is. Lean in, be patient with yourself, and remember that God welcomes your questions. He delights in walking alongside you, guiding you step by step into the fullness of who He created you to be.

Reflections for Your Journey

Thank you for coming along for the ride—not just the one I took to work that morning, but the deeper journey of thoughts, questions, and discoveries that unfolded along the way. As I shared pieces of my own reflections, I hope they sparked something within you and encouraged you to reflect on your own journey.

The reflection questions I’ve included are just a starting point—a guide to help you begin the conversation within yourself. But this is your journey, and I want to encourage you to follow where Spirit is leading you. If other questions or thoughts begin to surface, write them down. Give yourself the freedom to explore whatever comes up and to go where Love is guiding you.

Don’t feel boxed in by the questions I’ve shared; instead, see them as an invitation to dive deeper into your own heart. Create space for whatever rises to the surface—without judgment, fear, or the need to rush. Let this be a moment of freedom, healing, and discovery as you embrace the path Love is unfolding uniquely for you.

The Search for Purpose

• What have you believed about purpose in your own life?

• How might your view of purpose change if you embraced it as part of who you are, rather than something you must achieve?

From Ritual to Relationship

• Are there any routines or practices in your life that feel more like obligations than authentic connections?

• How might you invite God (Love) into your everyday moments in a way that feels natural and freeing?

A New Freedom in Connection

• Where do you feel most connected to God?

• How might letting go of rigid expectations allow you to experience a deeper, more heartfelt relationship with Him?

The Patient Unfolding of Truth

• Can you recall a time when you felt God was revealing truth to you gradually?

• How can you practice patience and trust in the process of discovering deeper truths?

From Judgment to Compassion

• How has self-judgment shaped the way you view or interact with others?

• What might change if you extended the same compassion to yourself that you want to offer to others?

Releasing Labels and Embracing Identity

• What labels have you attached to yourself that may no longer reflect who you are?

• How can you lean into the freedom of being fully loved, as God’s creation, without those labels?

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Patience & Presence: Trusting the Journey

Love whispered to my heart—patience and presence. You’ve found yourself running toward a vision, eager to build something beautiful that Love has placed inside of you. But what if the key isn’t in rushing to build, but in learning to rest and trust Love’s timing?

As a visionary, you can picture things that might be years or even decades away. It’s exciting! But remember, just because you can see it doesn’t mean you have to make it all happen right now in your own strength. Love is inviting you to live out your purpose daily by being present in each moment, trusting Love to guide the way.

Purpose in the Everyday

Love is showing you that purpose isn’t a destination. It’s not some grand achievement you’re waiting for. Purpose is woven into who you are, right now. Every day, there are opportunities for you to show up as your authentic self, living from the heart Love has given you. The vision Love has for you will naturally unfold as you walk heart to heart with Love.

A Reminder to Rest

Love is reminding me: you don’t have to strive. The plans and purposes I have for you will flow from a place of rest. In that stillness, Beloved, you’ll find the clarity, peace, and strength to move forward in the right timing. There’s no need to carry the weight of trying to do it all at once.

Lay down any burdens of rushing or striving. Trust that you’ll know the timing because Love has equipped you with an inner compass. You haven’t missed it, and you won’t. Love is with you every step of the way.

Embrace the Journey

Beloved, embrace this season with Patience and Presence. Be present to the opportunities to love and serve in your everyday life, knowing that Love is unfolding its plans in perfect timing. Rest in the assurance that you cannot fail when you’re trusting Love to lead.

You are called to create from a place of rest, not striving. And in that place of rest, you will see the vision manifest in Love’s timing, as Love leads.

Reflection Questions:

1. What does “purpose” mean to you in this season of life?

2. Are there areas where you feel the pressure to rush? How can you lean into rest and trust?

3. How can you be more present to the beauty and purpose of your everyday moments?

4. In what ways has Love reminded you to release striving and embrace patience?

5. What small step can you take today to trust the journey Love has you on?

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Series: Rediscovering God – Unlearning Old Beliefs

Thank you for joining me on this journey of Rediscovering God: Unlearning Old Beliefs. In the next four posts, I’ll be exploring the process of releasing old ideas about a distant, demanding God and embracing a deeper, more authentic connection with Love—unconditional, ever-present, and true. Each post in this series will dive into a different layer of this unlearning and rediscovery, inviting you to pause, reflect, and perhaps even find a bit of your own story within these words. I hope these reflections offer insight, comfort, and encouragement for anyone who may be rethinking their beliefs or seeking more deeply.

To be notified of each new post, subscribe and join me for each step of this journey. The first post is coming soon!

In this post, I share how letting go of strict religious routines allowed me to discover a more genuine, heart-centered relationship with Love.

A look into the fears I faced in my journey, and how releasing those fears led me to embrace Truth and find Peace.

Reflecting on the shift from judgment to compassion, and how understanding Love has deepened my connection with others.

A new understanding of purpose—not as a single calling, but as an everyday expression of who I am.

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Pt. 1 Rediscovering God – Unlearning Old Beliefs

From Rituals to Relationship – Breaking Free from Religious Routines

For years, I viewed my relationship with God as a series of strict routines and rituals. Every morning at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m., I would wake up for a set hour of prayer, believing that missing this time would make me a failure in God’s eyes. I fasted frequently, and each missed practice brought a wave of guilt. I thought if I didn’t follow these exact structures, I wasn’t showing God how much I loved Him.

From Performance to Presence

Over time, I realized these routines weren’t necessarily bringing me closer to God. They had become tasks to complete rather than heart-driven expressions. But as I’ve grown on my journey, I’ve come to see that Love isn’t confined to religious rituals. Love is with me every day, in every moment, and Love desires a genuine relationship, not one rooted in performance.

Finding Love in the Everyday

Now, I pray throughout the day—in the car, while I work, and in everyday moments. It’s a beautiful conversation with no beginning, no forced language and unending. No longer do I feel I need to “prove” my love by performing. I feel closer to God than ever, experiencing Love’s presence in the ebb and flow of my daily life. This transformation from rigid practices to a heart-to-heart connection has been liberating, allowing me to connect with God, who is Love in ways that feel genuine and true.

Conclusion

If you’ve ever felt confined by routines in your faith, know that God’s love isn’t dependent on performance. He’s not waiting for you to follow rituals to prove your devotion. Instead, Love is present in every moment, inviting you to experience the simplicity of doing life together.

Reflection

• Think about any routines or practices you might be following out of a sense of obligation rather than genuine connection. Are there areas where you feel pressure to “perform” in your spiritual life?

• What would it look like to invite Love into the ordinary moments of your day? Reflect on ways to cultivate a relationship with God that feels authentic, even in small, everyday interactions.

• How might letting go of performance-based spirituality change the way you experience God?